Monday, February 28, 2011
I really am trying
I really can't stop crying. I am sad all the time. I feel like noone can understand what I am going through. People keep telling me to "not think about it". How is that at all possible? I wake up I am not pregnant. I go to the bathroom I am not pregnant. I eat breakfast I am not pregnant. Everything I do every minute I am not pregnant. Don't think about it. It is always there. Do you pray? WHAT that is a ridiculous question and insulting. I am never not in prayer. I try to walk every step in the word. Lord I am asking you for help. Help us to have a baby. Thank you for the baby you have put in my heart and desire. In Jesus Name Amen.
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Just wanted to say that I follow your blog and I was in your exact spot 3 years ago. We TTC for just under 7 years. Meanwhile, every friend and family member became pregnant as easily as breathing air. The envy became so overbearing I would just cry in my pillow almost nightly. I hit the roof when my family member came up to me and said "I know you are trying to get pregnant but can't you at least be happy for me and not shy away". I was so offended. I thought "listen, you've never been in my shoes so don't tell me what I "should" be doing". Anyway, to make a long story shorter ... Just try try try to keep your head up. After just under 7 years of endless trying we finally fell pregnant. Every second of every day I was pregnant I feared I would miscarry. But I didn't and now have a beautiful girl. It will happen for you ... God is listening. God made me the most perfect child ... it just took him longer to make her extra perfect. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteWe are now TTC#2 -- It's been just over 2 years with zero luck. But, it'll happen ... someday.
Good luck girl --- keep on praying --- God will come through.