At work with the cough

I am still sick. I just keep having this phelm gathering in my throat. It is the strangest cold ever. I don't feel sick as much as I am suffering from the every couple of hours need to get the phelm out. and if I don't watch it I will pee at the same time the coughing starts. Not a good condition to be in at work. I seem to be getting a little more control over it. At least I know to make myself go to the bathroom before I cough. then I seem to be able to get it out a little more quietly (I hope).

Ervin keeps asking me if I am OK, then he said I sound bad and look bad and I am moving slow. I didn't see myself in that bad of shape. I am going to try to stay at my desk to not get in anyones way.

My period has not come yet but I am on the progesterone and it won't come untill I stop taking it. I took a HPT on Sunday and it was negative, but that was only 5 days past iui or seven days past trigger. Way to early for a real positive. I was actually testing to see if the trigger was still in my system. Too scared to test again mostly been to sick.

Dear Lord, Please allow us to become pregnant and have a healthy happy baby. I also would like to pray for MrsKC who is going through alot right. I know you are watching over her and will give her the strength that she needs. In Jesus name Amen.

Progesterone low

In the midst of this very bad cold (verified by the urgent care doctor). My progesterone level came back at a 5. That is very low so I need to go on supplements. I guess there is still hope but not much. I don't really feel anything this time so far. I have been too sick to really notice. I don't have the usual cramps just a few. No stabbing feelings.

I wish we had the money for the IVF. I am ready for it now.

Dear Lord,
Please help us to have a healthy happy Baby. In Jesus Name. Amen.

What a sick weekend

I have been so sick this weekend. This is the worst cold I have ever had. It is not the flu since I dont have a feaver or body pains. I threw up a lot yesterday after coughing up some flem (tmi) then I couldn't help but get sick at the Grocery Store today. Sick once so far at home but I feel at least one more comming up before bed.

The dogs are asleep like they have been drugged. Napoleon stuck to me like glue when I was sick. Tony has been as much of a doll as he can be. He really is trying to make me better. He wants me to see a doctor but I know this is a cold, just the worst cold ever. Hopefully Tiger is just making it a little worse than usual.

I am so proud of my husband he went to volunteer for football at the church. I really find that so attractive.


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Only day 3

It is only day 3 and not much going on as it should be. Other than I have a terrible cold including complete loss of voice/sound. Just the usual sore boobs and heartburn which has more become a part of the routine. My foot seems to be recovering from the arthritis. That is good.

Please In Jesus name help us to conceive and bring forth a health, happy, Godly, Baby. In Jesus name - Amen.

IUI was Yesterday

Had IUI yesterday. We had a small ice storm so everyone was running just a little late for everything. We got to the sperm collection around 8:15 instead of 7:30. Tried to give the ice a chance to melt. Then instead of going somewhere to wait until my turn at 9:45 we just sat in the office. It wasn't too bad and frankly the time flew by. Dr. Butler said the one on the right was a follicle so we have a good chance that we had six eggs. Prayfully one will fertilize and implant. I had to tell Pastel that we were doing an IUI. Eventually my not wanting to share became more of a lie. So we are one day off.

I have a bad cough today and my foot hurts from arthritist. Napoleon was walking all up and down me yesterday and then he took one leap of faith that really hurt. It was kind of high on my stomach so I don't think he messed up anything but who knows maybe he made the egg pop out more. :)

Emotionally I was ready to kill Tony. He is so great but sometimes . . . Mostly it must be the hormones.

Lord, please be with us. Please bless us with a healthy baby. I am so thankful to you for the many and I mean many blessing you have given us. I wish I could say that if you just do this I will never ask for anything else but I know that is not true. I will be praying for that baby to prosper and thrive in your word daily. I will be praying for us to be able to provide for that baby and I might even ask for a second baby at your will but for right now if you could bless us with this baby I am already and will forever be eternally grateful.

In Jesus name, AMEN.

Gotta keep trying to exercise and eat right.

slow and steady growth but is it two slow?

We went to the Bl/US day 12 this morning. I am a little happy and a little concerned. On tuesday we had 14,13, 12,12, 10,9. This morining it was 18,17,14,14,14,13. Not bad but not great. The 14 need a couple of more days of growth. I need them to hit at least 17 for release. So I expect that the RE will say to stay on shots until at least Sunday. Overall my 12 grew real slow but my 10 and 9 did pretty good. The 14 and 13 did well also. My blood work will give more information. The Overdril shot will also give a big burst of growth.

Worked out last night. It felt great.

Please Jesus help us to have a health baby. In Jesus name AMEN.


Just wanted to update - Nurse just called. Stay on Gonal F 200 for two more days. Take trigger on Sunday and do IUI on Tuesday. Pretty much what I expected. That should get the 14 to around 18 and the 18 should be at 22. Then with the trigger that should give us 4 or 5 over 20. Poor DH can't take off work again but I will call in sick for the day. I will make sure he gets lots of rest for his deposit.

Nothing out of the ordinary today

Funny how all the movement, cramps, flutter and mood swings become super normal after doing this awhile. I do have a lot of "growth" going on. Feelings like my uterus is pulling. Hopefully I will be able to trigger Friday or Saturday night and have the iui while we are out for the MLK holiday. Hey no promises but maybe Tiger might have King as middle name or better yet his twin brother will definately have King as a middle name. Just a thought.

Heading to the gym tonight.

In Jesus name please help us to have a healthy baby. AMEN.

I will be there for her

Ok so my coworker was crying her eyes out this morning. She is probably more having a clomid cry but they are all real. I mostly just sat with her and gave her a chance to talk. I also told her it was perfectly normal to feel the anxiety, excitement and anger of this journey. I tesitfied that I cried my last cry and gave it to Jesus. She is a little apprehensive that her husband is not as involved as she would like. I had to thank Jesus that Tony is with me every step of the way. I explained that although Tony comes to every appointment and is super supportive, I feel alone many times. Mostly I feel alone that I am the only one who can't do this. I told her she will have to learn to work with her feelings. Learn what she needs to do to help her get through this because she is only on Day 3 and she will have many more days like this. Don't I know.

Tony always reminds me that this journey is our testimony I guess it is.

In Jesus Name, please bless us with a baby Amen.

Care First (REALLY)

I have had a rough morning/afternoon but for my baby I would go through a million times more. First Ervin ask for me to present to his interns with less than two hour notice. No problem. As I was getting that together I get a call from the RE's office that I was being denied coverage for the IUI by my insurance company. The insurance company said I was only allowed 6 IUI's. Then in the same breath they tell me I have unlimited Artificial Insemination. After round and round conversations with pre authorization and member services I end up on the phone with Rob. Then the RE's office told me they would handle it. They call me after the presentation and tell me it is an Admin problem and I would need to appeal the process. Apparently the medical code for IUI and AI are the same thing (since they are the same thing this is logical). Eventually after a long conversation the RE's office will submit the request and just call it AI.

By the way my blood work came back ok. Now I have four follicle I am hopeing will make it and this will be my baby and my tesitimony.

Thank you Jesus for this day and help me make it though the rest. In Jesus name AMEN

Day 9

Went in for U/S this morning. They did find 6 follicles (.95, 10, 12,12,13,14). Probably go back on Friday and hope for a (18,18,19,22) that would be great. I just want that one good egg. Pastel did her day 3 on Sunday and she is excited but trying to claim that she is not excited. She can't help it. I wish her the best and I wish me the Favor.

I went to church on Sunday and I was truly moved with the respect and honor of Favor. After the Pastor's wife prayed for the women who will concieve and bring fourth child, I really began to feel a lot of activity. Still feeling alot of snap, crackle and pop movement. Looking forward to the call from Kim. She said my estrogen was down on Friday but I think there has been a growth spurt to make it catch up.

Just had a project pop up.


In Jesus name, please help us have a healthy baby, Amen

UGGGGHHHH!!!!

I have avoided Pastel for a month. Why can's she take a hint. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want her giving me that poor you look. Just leave me alone. If I have something to say then I will.

She just cornered me at my desk. I understand she is excited to begin her medications this weekend. Let's see how she feels in six procedures later. I don't mean that. I don't wish that on her. I don't wish it on anyone especially me.

I just feel so broken with pieces missing. I want the world to go away.

Here we start again

Went in for U/S and Bloodwork today. It is day 2 so there is nothing to report. Probably come back on Friday or Saturday for a checkup.

Emotionally I am a mess. I can't look at Tony. His eyes are filled with so much disapointment. He touches me and I feel undeserving. I don't know what to do. I can't talk about it. I just don't want to go there. I only feel like I need to go away but I can't and I won't.

He is really great and I am so favored by God to have him. I just wish I felt he wasn't being punished to have me.

Right on time

Well as scheduled AF showed up this morning. This time she didn't even give the hints that she was comming. I so enjoyed this weekend of believing she wasn't comming and the "allusion" of sharing my body. It was a true and real blessed feeling. It now seems like a lifetime ago. I am very sad but have made the decision that I am not going to breakdown like last time. Last time I went to a place that scaired me. I really did not see me getting back up. I don't have the strength to go there again. I will just deal with the situation and get ready to do it again. I just ordered the medicines and made the appointment to come to the Doctor on Tuesday instead of Wed.


Going to stay positive this time it will work.

In Jesus Name Amen.