Getting back on track

It has been a while since I have written. Been really busy. Too busy. The boys are more than a handful. We knew one child was special needs but really too are. O is on ADH medicine and some mornings I want to push it down his throat. His personality is horrible. I really don't like this child. He wakes up in the morning defiant that he is not going to listen to anything I say. He doesn't want to put on his uniform, shoes or anything. He wants to watch TV and back talk everything I say. His behavior makes Joseph look normal. Several times this weekend I was fully prepared to say OK take them all back. Bj truly saves them all from being dropped off at police station and then there are some days I want to put him in the front seat. And yet I still want to have a baby.